J'adore Mes Amis

To have a friend is a blessing, to be a friend is one too, and to love one is everything. I love you so much, my friends, whether you know it or not, though now, hopefully, you may learn to know just a fraction of the love I have for you through my words. The following are in no particular order and this is for no particular reason other than you deserve to know how special your place in the world is: Sammy, Tamara, Zoe, Izzie, Darcy, Molly, Naomi, Indira, Emily.

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Sammy,

The way you so delicately walk through this life is something you've never seen in yourself but something I've always noted in you; your innocent little laughs, your never talking yourself up & your inability to be malicious. I notice a lot of other things in you that you do not notice within yourself and just to name a few (because I know you never grant yourself the kindness to say such things towards yourself), I notice your pride in your friendships to stand up to bullies, I notice your exquisite sense of self-expression through vocabulary and fashion and I notice your embodiment of agape love towards those whom you care about. Somebody as wonderful as you deserves to think more highly of themselves, but in our many similarities, I can also understand how that insecure side of you prevents you from experiencing the greatness that is you. You bring out in me, confidence, joy and fun, as we dance the night away at mardi gras, as we look boujee sipping on our diet cokes in bars and as we spend hours talking nothing but shit just because we are safe enough in each other's friendship to do so. You, My Queen, are the world to me and more. I value your endless advice like a flower values the rain. I value the gentleness you have with me that you give me because you know I cannot provide that to myself. I value your existence never less than the day before, and always, undoubtedly, more.

Tamara,

My flower, my moon, my sun, watching you flourish and bloom has been the pride and joy of my existence. I couldn't be prouder of the wonderfully kind and confident young woman I've known you to be since you were still a girl. You're angelic, the way you glow like a star in the sky when the sunlight sets on you; your perfect golden hair, your big, kind eyes and your million-dollar smile. You've never failed to support me. You've done so in that special discrete way you have about you, so much so, that I've never felt as though I owed you something in return. There have been times you took hours to see and be with me and you may not know this but you have been the best part of my day more times than I can count on my two hands. You're one of those people that are really, really good. You give away parts of yourself, though somehow you manage to always remain entirely yourself. You're special, so special, a very special type of person, the type of person that if everyone was like you wars wouldn't exist, relationships wouldn't break, and people would be peaceful. So yes my flower, you are the moon and you are the sun, you are everything to me and more, and to so many others. A beautiful bride I cannot wait for you to be. Thank you for being in my life, for being patient with me, for being you.

I will never not love you. I will never not cherish you. I will never not be so, immensely grateful to and for you. And I will never not completely and utterly adore you.

Zoe

Zoe, you're one of my longest friends. I still remember the first time I met you when we were so young. I think we made a mess of your house, making some horrible milkshake concoction that was entirely inedible just to be the little rugrat silly weirdos we were at that age. You were the one girl in the private schoolgirl world that I didn't have to pretend to be anyone else other than myself around. You liked me, I liked you, and it was that simple. It hasn't changed a bit since. I like you, so much, to the point that I've grown to love you as a dear, dear friend. Every moment I've ever spent with you has been an irrevocably happy moment. You light up every room. You're so beautiful, Zoe. I fear your heart of gold has been broken in ways it never should've been. But somehow, you always come out stronger. And it's you who I probably look up to in many ways more than I do my other friends for you're simply, exceptionally, always, entirely... you.

Izzie

I love you Izzie but oh, how knowing how you know yourself breaks my heart. You know yourself to be less than but you are more than in every way. You are more than your fears, you are more than your experiences and mostly, you are more than life itself; you are precious. I truly believe if you knew yourself the way I know you, you would've moved more mountains than you've already moved which is saying something because you have accomplished the most remarkable things already, at such a young age. I understand you can't see how remarkable your accomplishments are because, like you, I play down what others tell me are things I should be proud of. So I do not say this to overwhelm you or to negate your valid feelings. I say them because even if you can't believe them, I want you to know I believe them for you until the day comes that you will believe them for yourself and I say will because I believe you are strong enough to allow that day to come. I hope with my whole being and essence that one day, you will see what I see; you will look in the mirror and see your annoyingly (just playing) perfectly symmetrical face, your creative talent, your heart made of golden sunshine, your cutest (in the world) laugh and your strength that inspires me. I love you so much, a million times more, an ounce of what I can convey in this anecdote. Oh, and did I mention, that you are one of the most selfless, unselfish, giving human beings I've ever come to know? Well, dear, it's so completely true.

Darcy

We've been through a lot in our friendship and the one thing that's certainly prevailed is your honesty, a trait so many lack and so few are gracious enough to wear on their sleeve. It is your honesty that saved us, something you should be infinitely proud of. When I first met you, I told you you looked like someone but I've come to know that there is nobody quite like Darcy, in all of the best ways and none of the bad. You are inherently, implicitly expressive, kind, mature, intellectual, coherent, wise, forgiving, exceptionally beautiful internally and externally, fashionable and as I said before but must mention again, true. I believe you have a way with words, especially when it comes to expressing your emotions. And I believe a part of you doubts that, believing in the lies of mental illness (which is explicitly not your fault). So I hope you can trust in me, somebody who cares about you implicitly, that you are capable of managing your emotions, even when everything feels out of control. I love that you're never set in a way. You're open to the world in your raw, transparent, excitable way. If only there were more people in the world like you, D, the world would be a better place. However, I'm so thankful there aren't more Darcy's because then we wouldn't all get to relish in the beauty that is the perfect uniqueness of you.

Molly

You've been there for me at my worst. And I've been there for you at yours. Somehow, throughout the messiness this life has to offer we keep finding our way into each other's hearts when it's been depleted that little bit too far. We've always been as sick as each other mentally so unlike a lot of friends with eating disorders, I feel as though that element of competitiveness is non-existent. It's allowed us to just be there for each other in a way that perhaps many other friends cannot be. Confiding in you has always felt like looking in a mirror. You know me. And I know you. Though I know I have so much more to learn in the book you leave as open to all eyes and the pureness of you will never cease to intrigue me. 

I want to be a part of your world and I hope you know I'll always have one foot in, though two whenever you need me, my sweet Molly.

Naomi

I was lucky enough to develop a friendship with someone who was once a colleague and always, one that I looked up to. You were the first boss I had whom I developed a personal relationship with and that will forever be significant to me. You taught me the possibility that it is to work for somebody who you respect infinitely, care about deeply and admire absolutely. And oh, how I admire you. I admire your spirit, the type that flows through the air, charming everybody, welcoming everybody, caring for everybody. You did that at work and you've done it every day, in all aspects of your life, since. Because that (so very indescribably) exceptional spirit of yours is and will forevermore be a part of you. You're so gorgeously you to the point that I've never met anybody else who is just so fucking adorable, kind and strong all at once. You're not only one of a kind, you are the one kind whom people spend their lives searching to bear a friendship with. You will never not hold a dear place in my heart, mind, body and soul.

Indira

When I first met you, I thought your energy was radiant and creative to the point that I must admit, I became a bit star-struck by you. You are one of those women who are destined for nothing but success and it has been one of the pleasures of my life to watch you fulfil the pathway I always knew you would follow. But Indira, you are more than these phenomenal successes. What makes you truly special is your genuine kindness, intelligence and warmth, the triple threat that fills up any cup, depleted or full, overflowing with the blessing that it is to merely be in your presence, let alone be lucky enough to have a conversation with you, let alone be lucky enough to share a friendship with you. I admire you as a friend, I admire you as a person, I admire you as a woman, I admire you as a successful businesswoman and I admire you as an entrepreneur. I admire every part that makes up the irrefutably gorgeous person you are.

Emily

Emily, you are one of my newest friends, but I don't think it's the time you have known someone, I think it's the quality that that time together has entailed. And I must say, it has been honourable to get to know you, considering you never for even an instance take a break in going out of your way to recognise the beauty in others. You are so kind, Emily, and I think one of the saddest things I've come to know is that you truly cannot see yourself in the abundant, important, special, way I see you. In my opinion, you're heartbreakingly unkind to yourself in comparison to the kindness you have to wear on your sleeve, your effortless ability to exude kindness of such out into the world. I laugh thinking about the nature of our friendship... You and I both have the love language of words of kindness and acts of service. Being together was like an endless exchange of pleasantries. Sometimes we stopped mid-sentence just to laugh at how polite we were both being. Our friendship is so sweet, endearing and loving and its healthiness makes me hope we will be in each other's lives for a very long time, even if we are now at a distance.

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I feel like the luckiest girl in the world for my friendships for two reasons. The first is that I am lucky enough to be able to count my friendships on my two hands. And the second is that each individual I am friends with is a person I don't just like, but look up to & truly adore. What are your friends to you, Dolls?

Kisses & Hugs,

COS xo