May: A Month To Love.
May love find me. Here is everything to love in May.
May my family come together
Eating disorders break some families. As the sufferer falls through the cracks, so do the voices, encouragement, and efforts of the people who love you. They begin posing questions of 'why don't they love me more?' or 'what did I do wrong?', which not only leave loved ones feeling helpless and unworthy but also sufferers feeling guilty and ashamed that they cannot do better for the concerned people they care about. How could that not separate people who love each other? So may we instead have the strength to come together.
May I persevere through recovery
May I not allow my mind to ruin my body, my well-being, and my spark. May I never quit and succumb to something that causes the most ultimate forms of despair.
Recovery on my hardest days is better than anorexia on my hardest days.
And there will be times when my mind convinces me that that's not the case, but logically, and deep down, I know this to be true. I need to be brave when I don't want to be, bold when I want to run and courageous when I want to restrict.
May I never quit recovery, ever, never.
May I be strong when I feel weak
Everybody will tell you how hard anorexia is, but few, if any, will tell you how hard recovery can be, too. Eating feels wrong and scary. In May, and all the months before and thereafter, may I remember my worth when I want to give up. May I remember that the love I have for my family and friends conquers anytime I wish to fall. I am like a fresh slice of apple pie; although I crumble, I am the perfect combination of soft and sweet, so even when I start to fall, I do it with grace, support, structure, and strength. Though I am not okay in this moment, I know that I most certainly will be in the one that follows.
May wealth and abundance be rich in my life
May I never forget the immeasurable, indefinite ability I have to be more than and not less than. May I know my worth so that what I attract can reach its utmost potential. If I remember this daily, minute by minute, and moment by moment, my courage to chase wealth and abundance will undoubtedly manifest. It will be beautiful, it will be bold, and it will be lovely.
May everything I've ever wanted and needed exist, manifest and soar.
Kisses,
COS x
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